What’s the Point In Being “Bad”?
I have a good friend who recently shared some insecurity around her driving abilities. Last week, while on our way to a movie, she remarked that her father, among others, have always criticized her driving, and although I wouldn’t label her a bad driver, apparently that’s what she considers herself to be.
Since first mentioning it a few weeks ago, I’ve learned she’s had eight car accidents in less than twenty years. I’ve also noticed she often hesitates when making decisions to shift lanes or accelerate through an intersection. All of these details have been marinating in my mind. What I’ve concluded is that there’s no such thing as a bad driver.
How many times have I told myself I was “bad” at something. A bad homeowner. A bad housekeeper. I’ve labeled myself a bad organizer. A bad time manager. Saying you’re “bad” at something is nothing but ego trying to keep you from having peace.
If it can convince you that you’re a “bad” organizer, that gives you a reason to beat yourself up when you can’t find something you need. Why not ask a friend who’s good at organizing to help you out or even pay someone to offer pointers so you can build your confidence?
If ego can persuade you that you’re “bad” at home repairs, you stay locked in a vicious circle of feeling guilty that something’s not been fixed and criticizing yourself for not being able to do it. The truth is, there are plenty of ways to learn how to make simple home repairs. Maybe you just need to admit you don’t like to do home repairs.
I’ve accepted the fact that I don’t like doing housework or home repairs, and I’m OK with it. After spending a sufficient amount of time feeling bad about being disorganized or out of time, I’ve sought the knowledge I need to increase my skill level and have been working on it – even if it seems an extraordinarily slow process.
Calling yourself “bad” at doing something is a copout. When you judge yourself instead of choosing to ask for help or admitting you don’t want to do something, you’re setting yourself up for ego to be in control. And that’s chaos – guaranteed.
So true. We are quick to label others so why not place ourselves in a box too? Aah, I am no longer going to say I’m useless at home projects anymore; I am simply going to view the projects themselves as not to my personal liking. And the irony of this is that I’m sitting on my old rickety $5 Goodwill-purchased chair as pieces of a brand new office chair purchased at Staples lay strewn across the floor still unassembled. This new perspective should make putting this sucker together tonight an interesting adventure, huh?