Light for the Week of November 23, 2009
Welcome to The Language of Light! Here you will find tools and resources that will support your journey to knowing who you are by learning who you’re not.
I invite you to explore the links to the right to find the books, events, and other materials that resonate with your Self. And check out the new blog below – The Blight of Self Involvement. Have a beautiful week!
Be light!
staci
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New Blog: The Blight of Self-Involvement
My mother accidentally called me today. She thought she was calling her voicemail and was surprised to find me on the other end of the line. When I asked how she was, it was mere seconds before the truth came out. “I feel so overwhelmed, Staci,” she admitted. She went on to tell me why and I was stunned to find out I had contributed to her emotional state.
There has been so much going on lately, both professionally and personally. I’ve taken a new direction in my career that is bringing awesome results and there have been some major decisions to make regarding my house. I’ve really relied on her guidance and advice. I had no idea she felt so stressed out about it.
Because my mother works very hard to know who she really is, she realized that worrying about others or taking on the stress of their challenges doesn’t serve her. She’s my mother, though, so she gets a pass on being concerned about me – it comes with the territory. We’re such good friends, sometimes I forget she’s my mom.
We had a loving and positive conversation that reminded me of two things. First, it’s too easy to get caught up in my own little world. Whether I’m focused on career, relationships, family, or something else, the blight of self-involvement can have a major impact on the lives of those who care about me.
Our conversation helped me to step outside my own life and see that demonstrating compassion about how my challenges affect her as my mother will go a long way in bringing us closer. A simple question like, “Can I talk to you about this?” instead of just launching into what’s going on, give her the opportunity to decide if she’s in a place to discuss it.
Second, I was reminded that any time there are intense emotional reactions, it’s a sign that ego is gorging at a major “thought buffet.” And there’s only one reason it’s happening. Feeling overwhelmed or like everything is “too much” is a clear indicator that you’re not taking care of yourself.
It’s almost like the other extreme of the self-involvement pendulum – being so concerned with everyone else’s issues and challenges that you neglect your Self. I reminded her of what my friend Michelle asks me when I find myself in that place. “What can you take control over in this moment?”
Returning to the moment is the quickest way to return to peace, to re-center and take ego out of the driver’s seat. Taking control of what you can control, instead of becoming overwhelmed with everything that reminds you that you have none, is a great next step. Even if what you can control is going into the food co-op to buy the vegetarian parmesan cheese you need, it’s enough. I’m sure my mom’s lasagna was delicious!